We need to change the way we talk about mental illness in the United States. It is probably the worst thing we currently do as a society, and most don't even know it.
With the recent death of Kate Spade, I felt hurt. I don't like her perfumes, I could never afford her adorable journals, and I didn't even know she designed handbags, but I always feel a void when someone dies by suicide. A little less hopeful. A little more lost. And, with every comment made about it, a lot more alone.
Why is it a thing to say "mental issues"? What is that? We can't even call them what they are? llnesses. Disorders. Diseases. They're not "issues" for a lot of people. They're as real as any other physical disease. And I know that's cliché, but people don't seem to get it. Even when they mean well, mental illness is just an "issue" that people take their own lives over. Calling it that not only disguises the depth of these illnesses, but diminishes the struggle of those who have them. It also promotes the next problematic ideas.
Suicide is selfish. I try to understand this notion as best I can, I try thinking of it from a neurotypical's point of view, but I just don't get the absolute idiocy behind this sentiment. The vast majority of suicides are completed by people who are MENTALLY ILL. ie: They're not thinking like a normal person, that's kinda the problem. So when you think of killing yourself as a normal person, you think: "Hey, nothing in my life is really that bad. I get sad from time to time, but never enough to leave my kids/dog/parents/sister!" Yeah...but you're not depressed. You're not psychotic. You're not delusional. You don't hallucinate. You have control over who you are, and a great deal of control over how you feel and act. You also have a good deal of control over the choices you make and the way your life turns out. Congratulations! Again, and I can assure you, they're not thinking like a normal person. They're actually thinking everyone would be better off without them. They actually think they're a burden, and they're helping by offing themselves. Unless you've been there, you truly have no idea.
But they're still selfish, right? It's probably because they didn't have or turn to God in their lives. I love this one. With no other illness would we blame a lack of God. Your spine can develop outside your body, your pancreas cannot work, you might produce too much mucus, and none of that has anything to do with God. But if your brain, the most complex organ in your body, malfunctions in any way, that's because of lack of God. Ask everyone who goes to church - not ONE has a mental illness, right? Get it? You're bipolar because you're not singing enough hymns!
"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem". Classic. Yes, there are some suicides that superficially stem from a breakup or recent situation, but first of all, you might want to look deeper because, again, a normal person wouldn't behave that way. Secondly, 90% of suicides are committed by those who had a diagnosable illness beforehand. Many who had struggled and fought and *suffered* for years - decades - before. These problems aren't temporary, and they're certainly not easy. So can we stop with this dismissive and frivolous saying?
And can we just stop with accusing anyone who speaks about their mental illness as "seeking attention", or "using them as a crutch", or whatever else? I guess this is a thing with all invisible illnesses, but can we mention them (these things we struggle through EVERY DAY) without being ignored or dismissed or bullied? I don't get it.
Why are we talking like these types of illnesses don't even exist? It's hard enough to wade through the sludge of our diagnoses while trying to live a normal life. Why are our struggles then being completely ignored. It's absolutely demoralizing.
So, when someone kills themselves or complains about their strife, say you're listening. Commit to doing better for your loved ones. Mourn them as you would someone else who's life was taken from them via disease. This is real.
