Funeral Home Tour!

It was pretty cool! The prep room smelled very Vick's Vapo Rub-y. And apparently formaldehyde could be carcinogenic. I stood right next to a pre-embalmed body! My hip could've bumped the table and caused a scene, I was that close. And I didn't feel nervous at all. I was feeling a bit iffy about my mortuary science major earlier when they were all talking about meeting with family and making arrangements and stuff, but if I could just embalm, I'd be a happy freaking camper.

There was also a man in the viewing room. He looked so amazing. They really do good work. I kinda wished I could have met him. His casket was so white, pristine, and classy, and then there was this cute stuffed monkey in with him. I wonder what he was like.

I saw some cool eco-urns. They had one made out of cornstarch and one made out of earth salts. Dang, caskets are pricey!!! And who would buy a metal casket?!

Anyway, the weirdest part for me was the crematory. I didn't love being in there because it was loud and hot, but it smelled so good. Like sweet, but not rotting flesh sweet, it was just plain sweet. Like a fancy waiting room. I also got to see someone who had just been cremated. It was just their bone fragments, but it was really amazing to know that that used to be a living person and now all you see of them is rather large bone fragments.

I liked it! It was at least very interesting.

I don't want to repost...

I look good in black, huh?! It's a sign.

http://futureundertaker.blogspot.com/

I love Steve!

I know I've made a few of these posts - the bulk of which are in my old blog, but I can't help myself.

I love Stephen. More than anything in the world. He's my best friend. We've been through so much in such a short time and, while I'm not always grateful for my health challenges and our rough patches from the past, I think they've brought us closer together. We don't fight about anything "normal" (ha!) couples fight about - most likely because we've faced worse. I know we can make it through anything. I love knowing that we'll be together forever. We are soulmates. I know it.

I am actually grateful for challenges! Sometimes. :)

I'm trying to make decisions.

But it's hard.
Making final decisions is hard, but I think it best I make them now before my brain gets fogged by pressure, emotions, or judgement from others.

I know I'm definitely not getting a transplant. If I live long enough to experience ESRD, I'm just gonna go with it. I don't have any interest in taking 30+ pills a day (30?) that cause cancer and other serious complications when I have a much higher chance of throwing a clot and losing the transplant. If they'll even consider me for such a thing with my blood.

I'm still unsure whether or not I want kids. Some days I want one, other days I just don't. I know I could get judged for that, but I don't have a lot of energy or patience - and those things are required for good parenting. I've never loved  being around kids or babies. But babies and kids are cute and Stephen would make the best babies. I think we'd make okay parents. I don't know if I'll be around to raise them.Oh yeah, there is the whole 50% chance of passing PKD on...

I'm not sure what to do about work. My back hurts more when I'm employed. Standing, bending, stress... I don't want to sit around all day, but I do want to be a productive person. I want a cool job, preferably. I want to get a degree in something I like and hopefully would be able to do for years. I hope it can be something I love (like mortuary science, forensic science, or something with a similarly high chance of working with bodies and making a difference). I'm not sure though...my back has been hurting a lot and I don't have long shifts.

What's most important to me is spending time with Stephen and having a great life - as long or short as it may be. We're gonna go to the beach all the time, go on cruises, Seaworld, Disneyland, India, Africa, and we'll have tons of cats and a dog or two.

OLD JOURNAL!!!

I found a journal from 2007! I was stoked enough, but then I realized there were some entries about my sweet husband and his brother (we met in middle school). Also, there are plenty of grammatical and spelling errors, so I am omitting many of these: [sic].

January 1st, 2007:
I'm so exited! Why? My friends Stephen and Levi Stannard are comming to Timpview! Yeah they're brothers. Twins even. In fact last night was a tri-stake dance. (Yes, a church dance. I love the church!) Eitherways, me and Elissa were hanging out and dancing with guys on the slow dances and just having a good time. Then, she came up with the bright idea of inviting the Stannards! I hadn't seen them since last May. So, I ofcourse said yes. (They were supposed to be there anyway.) So I called them up on my cell phone. Stephen picked up. Turns out, they didn't know there was a dance! There was half an hour left when I called them so, by the time they got to the dance, there were only three dances left! But luckily, one was a slow dance. It was completely romantic. There we were, me and Elissa facing Levi and Stephen. After about 3 seconds they got the idea. Levi took my hands and Stephen took Elissa's. It was so charming. It was weird. I didn't feel awkward or anything. Usually that happens when you dance with a friend. Stephen told me before that he liked Elissa. Alot. Go figure, she's perfect!

So anyways, the dance ended and we all went home. I had a calm feeling. All over! 'One of the best nights of my life' I labeled it. I don't know if I like him. We'll have to see!

January 16th, 2007:
Oh yes, The Stannards are back! I bought Levi some lunch because I saw him and he had no money. So yeah I hung out with him at lunch. I'm glad they're back I missed them!

January 23rd, 2007:
And omgosh Elissa and I were chatting with Stannard (Steaven) and he likes this girl named Charlie and he told us about their "first date". He said they saw a movie and then he showed her his sword collection!

I was like "Girls don't like that stuff!" It was so hilarious. Don't get me wrong, Stannard is the best, but when it comes to "impressing the ladies" he needs some help. But he's not alone, I suppose. I can't make fun of him.

February 6th, 2007:
Stannard says he's gonna buy Elissa some flowers so I said I'd help him out with ten dollars. There goes my hoodie, but it's for a good cause! Also, there are these really cute teddy bears at school, I think I'll buy one.

March 4th, 2007:
Yesterday I went to a killer party @ Elissa's house! It consisted of me, her and Steaven Stannard. Small, but very fun! Sometimes I felt out of place because they're both into really nerdy things. Don't get me wrong, I love 'em but...yeah.

April 25th, 2007:
You know I love my Stannards. (The twins?) Well Steaven has an issue with being too deep at stupid times. I don't have enough patience for someone who goes around "studying the ways of samurai & ninjas" It gets so old so fast. I don't hate the kid, I'm just sick of his "trying to gain strength" and whatnot.

I am not trying to be a priss or anything (Although I probably sound like one right now). I am just sick of it!