Obsession.

Okay, so I don't know what it is, but I am obsessed with having an Over the Hill party. I want to do one while it will be funny and not sad. Like...by the time I'm 40, I will be exhausted, self-conscious, panicky, or possibly dead.

So I'm trying to figure out when I will die. I figured I could do that by looking at all the excised kidneys on the interwebs and seeing how big those puppies are. I know that anyone could die any day, but we're assuming I live to die of kidney failure. Anyway, you should know, when kidneys "reach a critical size" the function declines rapidly from then on and you're getting ready to transplant or whatever.

Knowing this and looking at the sizes of the kidneys that have been removed, they tend to be anywhere from 23 cm to 34 cm. There is a pair that is GIANT, but I have not seen or heard of any close to the size of that one pair, so we're discounting that. Now take into account that multiple studies say 31 cm to 34 cm is considered critical. That's when you have to get them out.

Multiple studies also say that kidneys grow about 5% or more per year and that they grow at a steady pace per individual. So age of diagnosis is 21 years and the left kidney, Frankie, is 14 cm. Do a little math 5x10 = 50%. 50% of 14 cm = 7 cm. 7 cm every 10 years for kidney growth. With me?

SO, by kidney growth standards, at 41 years old, Frankie will be 28 cm. At 51 years old, Frankie will be 35 cm. I will die between 41 and 51 years old (most likely 45 or 46) - unless plans change and I do dialysis and/or transplant.

So that was fun! Let's do it again sometime!

P.S: So looking forward to this!!!

Of course I'm not serious.