My wedding

I don't know why, but as soon as I woke up, I was thinking about my wedding. I have really mixed feelings about it. On one end of the spectrum, I experienced an act of kindness that you only hear about in the news and I realized just how much my family loves me. On the other end, I experienced a level of childishness and animosity that I hope I'll never encounter again.

So, let's start with the good part (because that's the easy part). I had almost literally no money. I had planned on getting married in April 2013, but for school reasons, we expedited it (unexpectedly) to December 2012. I had been planning on saving a little bit of money each month for the dress that I had picked out in October. It was seriously the perfect dress. We all loved how I looked in it. I think it was the 5th dress I tried on, but everyone was sure it was the one. I fell in love with it.

Anyway, my new plan was to have a surprise wedding. I always thought weddings were dumb and overly-fussed about. I don't like being the center of attention, I love my family, and I love parties. It was perfect! So Stephen and I were going to secretly get married in a courthouse and come home to a party and announce the big news. There was no room for a wedding dress in these plans, so I gave it up. It was really the only thing I felt bad about.

Well, my mom found out about our plans when I asked to borrow $30 from my sister (for Costco cakes). She was having none of it, so our plans had to change. The date changed from 12/12/12 to the soonest we could do it 12/26/12. Anyway, at this point I still had no hope of getting that dress. We're not exactly wealthy, so an $800 ensemble was not likely. I decided to just wear my sister's dress.

One morning, however, when I came upstairs to get some sleep, there was my wedding dress, laid out on the bed. I couldn't even believe it. I just bawled of pure joy - for the first time ever. I still don't know who bought that dress for me (I think my mom had something to do with it), but I can't thank them enough. It was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me!

Anyway, another good thing is that my family really came together to make this nice. My sister Mandi made the cake, my sister Katherine did the decorations and flowers, my mom did a whole mess of things, Melissa did my makeup, Travis, Cari, Bear, Caleb, and Dad helped. Most brides complain about these things, but I'm really impressed that they did what they did with what little we had. It really looked nice. I looked nice. The cake and the flowers were perfect. I have no complaints as far as those things go. I'm so grateful to all of them for what they did - I'll never forget it.

Now to the bad stuff. Deep breath, because I'm still really bitter about how this went down. Anyway...I'll start with the drama. I expected it from my family but, surprisingly, most of the drama wasn't from them, it was from my in-laws. Yes, they occasionally voiced their concerns about marrying someone who has no car, no cell phone, and has never left "the nest". It was annoying, but I understood. In-laws though, geez. Where to start?

They're not bad people, some of them just did really stupid, childish, and hurtful things. People get crazy when it comes to weddings, I guess. Anyway, like I've mentioned before, we had no money. There was no way we could afford actual invitations - let alone get them out on time. You think people would understand, but on our wedding day people decided to make a big deal out of it.

The main culprit is Stephen's aunt, who decided it was okay to ream my husband on that day. I can't explain how livid I was that someone who pretends to be an adult would behave in that manner. She dogged on him personally, our choice to invite people via Facebook, and the fact(?) that we forgot to invite his grandmother.

We didn't forget her, we just thought word would get out. And it did. I didn't realize she'd feel uninvited this way. If I had, I would have invited her in person, with flowers and a dance. Seriously, Stephen's grandma is a lovely, wonderful person. And, if that is how she felt, we owed her an apology, but not Stephen's aunt. She acted as though we had murdered someone and that we owed her an apology! And apparently, Stephen had already received a stern email from his mom saying how rude we were being. Of course, he hadn't told me about it. Anyway, that was a fiasco and a half.

By then, his father had already gotten into it. He had been calling us every two days or so to voice his concerns about us. They were more like interrogations, than anything. I understand, we're very young, but Stephen tried to make it clear that he knew what he was doing. Maybe it was out of concern, but it certainly didn't feel like it. It felt like he didn't want us to get married at all.

The worst I felt though, was when Stephen's mom didn't come to our wedding shower. I had a great wedding shower. I was surrounded by good food and my amazing family. I just wish my mother-in-law had been there. What mother-in-law doesn't go to her daughter-in-law's wedding shower? She never said she wasn't coming. I was expecting her. I wanted everyone to meet her. I really couldn't have cared less if she didn't bring anything. It just really hurt.

Anyway, the wedding itself was not what I was expecting. I was scared to death up on the stage. After we were officially married, all I wanted was to get off the stage and have some food. We had to go sign some papers, but then I wanted to eat some food. As soon as I was about to sit down, dad told us to go up to the front.

I did NOT want to go up to the front again, I just wanted to eat! He made everyone say something. I think, if someone had something to say, they'd say it without the pressure. Luckily, a lot of people had nice things to say. Really, really nice things. I just wish we could have shared our first meal together. I wish people could enjoy themselves without having to worry about saying something. I really didn't like how it went, but Dad is just like that - he wants to conduct everything. It's just who he is.

By the time everyone was done and we could finally sit down, my food had been thrown away. Everyone was cleaning up and leaving. That was not something I wanted. I didn't get to spend any real time with my family or my new husband, and that really disappointed me.

Anyway, I'd say it was good for what it was. I married Stephen. 97% of my guests, despite the horrible weather, we able to make it. The cake, makeup, flowers, and decorations were perfect. Our families made it and were great. I discovered just how loved I really am. We got awesome, useful gifts. I sometimes wish I had just gone with my original plan. All of the bad things couldn't possibly have happened if we did that. All the good things...I would probably have missed out on all the good things too, so I really don't know how to feel about it. It was good, it was just unnecessarily stressful.