Honesty

My life is an alienating, obnoxiously open book. I strive to be honest in all my dealings. Sometimes I suffer for it (in big, obvious ways and in small ways), but I still think it's worth it to be honest.

I think a lot of people are under the impression that, if you're honest, you'll be rewarded, or good things will/should happen. It's really unrealistic, and I blame movies and Disney for perpetuating that idea. The only guaranteed reward for being honest is knowing you did the right thing.

I remember the very incident that made me actively try to develope this bothrsome trait. When I was little, I was extremely intimidated by my dad. He was the disciplinarian, as are most fathers in our culture. I hated being in trouble, but it never occured to me to avoid it. Like most little kids, I'd lie. All the time. I'm still ashamed.

But anyway, one day, my sister and I were taking a bath. We had to be about 7 years old. For some dumb reason, I was at the sink, filling a bowl and pouring it over my head. Over and over, I did this while standing on a carpeted floor. Who has carpeting in their bathroom? My parents, that's who.

Soon enough, my dad came barging in, spanks ready to be delivered. He yelled, asking what we were doing. What were we thinking? He oddly took the time to explain to us what was happening to the soaked carpet (and floorboards) beneath my feet.

Normally, I'd try to give some dumb excuse or lie my face off, but I said: "I'm sorry, I didn't realize what I was doing." or something similar. That's when, instead of the inevitable, my dad calmed down, his wild eyes faded, and he said: "because you told the truth, you won't get spanked." or something similar.

Later, as my sister and I tucked into bed, she whispered to me: "what made you tell the truth?" I actually didn't know. And I still don't, but her asking me that filled me with what I can only describe as pride. And I didn't want that feeling to go away. Hence my ultra-annoying trait was born.

But today I was trying to figure out why I think it's so important to be honest and open, and why I wish everyone were more open. Why I'm so nosy. Why I feel SO weird when other people don't respond/ respond well to my honesty. I thought it was good to be honest. Is there really such a thing as too honest? Or too open? Why does it make people uncomfortable?

That's a series of questions I don't think I'll ever be able to answer, except for one. I know why I think it's important for people to be honest and open. Just think of how much better the world would be.

It's kind of difficult to imagine, but if everyone were more open about their lives, people would be able to empathize more. They'd be less worried about their own problems because they'd realize they aren't alone in them. There would be no facade that anyone is perfectly happy - and that's harder and harder to see, given social media. It's stigmatic to post anything negative.

And being honest is tricky, because honesty sometimes has to take a backseat to kindness. It's a balance - just like justice and mercy. There should be a balance of both. But I mean people should be more genuine, I guess. Like...I strongly feel that everyone wants the same thing, ultimately. Everyone realizes that we all make mistakes. So we should be honest with ourselves. How we feel. How others feel. If we can empathize more, we can forgive more.

It's pretty much common knowledge now, given the public's fascination with muderers, that we can easily treat others less humanely when we dehimanize and distance ourselves from them. Hearing peoples' struggles (as well as triumphs) more often would go a long way toward closing that distance and even making us all less lonely.

Anyway...I just really think we'd all be better off if we were waaaaay more open and honest. My uneducated 2 cents.