Today is March 1st.
It SNOWED yesterday! It was amazing! It doesn't look like any of it stuck, but actual snow was more than I could've asked for, so I'm happy.
As you know, my dose has been doubled. 300mg a day to 600. 2 pills 3 times a day. It's hard to keep up on them. The dose is still not perfect. I get all...throat-closey around some people. And around the people I know, I just don't feel that talkative anymore.
It's good to not feel that pressure, but also bad because now I think I'm boring. And somehow still annoying.
Another thing I've noticed is the contradiction that I don't have as much patience or energy for sex, but my libido is just as high as ever, if not even higher (is it possible?). As I think about it, I've come to the realization that maybe I'm not a sexual deviant, but perhaps I just want it more often so I can feel better. So I can feel something.
Yet another thing is the only reason I'm still alive is because I'm too scared to "off" myself. I'm scared of the consequences. Not that I think other people who kill themselves will go to Hell, but I'm almost sure I would for some reason.
Anyway, just some thoughts.
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