Maybe it's just the circle I run in, but it seems like everyone and their dog has "depression and anxiety". Honestly, it's beyknd irritating to me because the two don't seem to be mutually exclusive. As if you must have one to have the other. And I examine these people and their lives, and it just rarely added up. They had active relationships with friends, a social life, success (academic and/or career). They had hobbies and activities they liked to do. They didn't really seem like me at all, and it would make me mad. They can't say they have these things and live a normal life, it makes us look bad!
But not all depression is the same.
I was comparing everyone to me: if their "illnesses" weren't as bad as mine or, somehow, worse, they weren't actually depressed. Certainly, they didn't "have anxiety" (such an annoying and non-specific phrase). The problems with that are A) my depression was severe. Moderate and mild depression are real and should be validated. B) there are other types and levels of depression.
Even in my own life, my depression was not always severe. High school was a nightmare. I'd ditch classes at every opportunity, I was alone most of the time, I didn't really hang out with friends, and I experienced constant digestive distress, but I was still able to make it to school late. I had hopes for the future, and I enjoyed viola. At the time, I adjusted. I thought it was bad and that it couldn't get worse, but it did.
After high school and through college, the depression worsened and destroyed me. I lost a lot of weight, my digestion was obliterated, I didn't enjoy viola or anything anymore, and I could not possibly feel good. Ever. I spent literally every second hoping I would die. That a car sound crash into me, a silent brain aneurysm would bleed the organ of distress dry, or that I could gather the courage to finally shoot myself without incident. I couldn't hold a job or do well in school, even if I had enough energy to try. I had NO energy. That lasted a little over 4 years.
So, in my decade of suffering, only the last years of it were truly severe. Yet I can't validate anyone with anything less than that?
When someone claims depression, my first reaction is to be critical and somewhat offended. And, while this serious diagnosis is thrown around like a frisbee, it's
That said, I think this is a vastly over-diagnosed issue. All you have to do for a prescription from a general practitioner is say you're sad and have feelings if guilt. I've done it very easily for lexapro and zoloft. Therefore, I don't take most people who haven't been to an actual psychiatrist seriously.
I think (and I have absolutely no research behind this) we're just much less resilient than we were years ago. Back then, hardship was an everyday experience. Nothing came easy, everything required work (making soap, fetching water, etc.), and death and disease were commonplace. Everything is easier and more accessible now. Diseases are cured, babies don't die as much, and neither do the old.
We have it good, yet antidepressants fly off the shelves. I really think we're just used to things coming easily to us that we can't really cope when they don't. It's because of this that I have a really hard time accepting depression for people who have just broken up with someone, or who had to leave a beloved program at school, or who gets home from a mission and is no longer "worshipped" by members. All of these situations are an adjustment, and will of course make someone reasonably sad, but not depressed. That's offensive to me, and to everyone else who can't get taken seriously because people don't know what real depression looks like.
I get bothered because there are still people who don't even believe it's real. I get similarly bothered by someone who will cry "depression" anytime a hardship comes their way. The latter, I believe, causes the former. That's why people need to be much more careful using that word. We all could stand to be a bit more resilient.
That said, crap happens. Real crap. Some people are "blessed" with tons of it in a single lifetime. And, when combined with unfortunate genetics, unfortunate consequences follow. Not every clinically depressed person had a ton of bad things happen to them. Enough, but it doesn't always take much. Conversely, not every non-depressed person has had it easy. Not by a long shot. That could be genetics or resilience.
Either way, I think my point was to be careful judging both the depressed and non-depressed. Don't throw that word around, please. It furthers stigma and misunderstanding.Lastly, it's not "cool" to be mentally ill. No one gives you a break for it. People judge you (even other mentally ill people, see?). It's not fun. There's nothing sexy or compassion-earning about it.
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