I don't know what happened but, ever since Stephen and I got engaged, there was animosity toward us. From his family. Maybe mine too. I mean, they liked Stephen and welcomed him, but none of them were excited about us getting married. It was mentioned that him not having a cell phone or car was a BIG issue. It was stupid. And I think it's even more clear how stupid that was now that Stephen a) has a phone b) the car thing has not been an issue c) he's the sole provider for this family. I'd literally be homeless without him.
I digress, his family was far worse. His mom pretended everything was cool to my face, but apparently had something against us. She didn't go to our wedding shower, she hardly spoke at the actual wedding, she sent some...half-assed message to her family about Stephen getting married. In which, my name was not even mentioned. All of the sentences ended in periods. She emailed Stephen and told him we were being jerks for not inviting people personally? I don't get it. Everyone uses Facebook. Nobody has had a problem. She and her stupid sister even insisted there was something wrong with the Facebook invitations because they didn't see them. Well...you're the only ones, so...
Not a one of them ever offered to help. In any way. Stephen's mom gave us some emergency backpack things....gee, thanks. Very thoughtful. I'm almost certain we got those because someone had excess.
The night before the wedding (Christmas), Stephen foolishly insisted we go to his grandma's house. God knows why. I reluctantly agreed. It was like they planned to rape us up there. Seriously. We stayed downstairs for a bit. I just...really didn't have a good feeling about going upstairs. And we were making out. :)
It's all a blur. I think Stephen's mom told him he ought to come upstairs. Later, his grandma calmly came to meet Stephen and ask why he wasn't upstairs yet. Finally, we went upstairs...they were all as dull and quiet as usual. I think his grandma somehow mentioned that she wasn't going to come to our wedding because she wasn't personally invited.
At that point, I just didn't care anymore. DON'T come. Any of you! Given all the stress we'd gone through, the fact that I was going to have a crappy wedding the next day that I didn't want, all the crap EVERYONE was giving us, I just didn't care anymore. Stephen kind of yelled at her saying we wanted her to come and he was sorry for making a mistake. Since I've been married to him, I've realized just how absent-minded he can be. So how could anyone expect him to have done everything he should have?
The verbal exchange ended, and they all went back to being boring and quiet. I just cried. I could've been enjoying my Christmas with people who actually cared about us. This was supposed to be a happy, exciting night for me and it was just a stupid mess.
The next day, his mom made some stupid post about us getting married and "how happy she was". Bullshit. Her whole family decided they needed to individually comment about how they didn't know but "congratulations, I guess.". His aunt went full-out calling him all sorts of things and bullying him for not inviting his stupid grandma in person. It was SO stupid. And just...cruel. His mom, much later, tried to tell me her sister didn't go because she had work, but come on. Such a lie.
So the DAY of my wedding came. Woohoo. I spent that morning fighting with his stupid aunt, when I should've been getting my dress cleaned. When I should've maybe been getting ready? I was getting comments about Stephen not helping set up and all this... like....shut up! This is supposed to be the happiest day of our lives. What a joke!
I'd like to say that, up until the very second we got married, people were being jerks, but it lasted much longer than that. My dad insisted we stand in front of everyone and have them say stuff about us. My family did. Maybe Stephen's grandpa did. But that was it. What Steve's mom had to say was about raising the twins and how "they were a joy to raise". What about Stephen? Do you know him?
It was just...the worst. I hated being in front of everyone. I only wanted to eat my first meal with Stephen. I couldn't. As soon as "the show" (the LAST thing I wanted my wedding to be) was over, everyone just started packing up. Who...? Why? My food was thrown away. I didn't eat. I didn't enjoy one second of my wedding. Except signing the stupid papers with the bishop.
They just...if you can't help, at least don't make everything worse. Oh, and his grandma gave us a shoe box full of staples, pencils, and a sharpener. I liked it at first, it was useful, but I can't help but think (with this new information) that it was passive-aggressive. Like..."here, I just threw these things we don't need in a box."
And, as nice as Stephen's dad was the day of and every day since, the days leading up to our wedding, he'd talk to Stephen and ask him if this is what he really wanted. He'd urge him to live with me first. They'd spend like...an hour on the phone with Stephen saying he knew what he was doing and his dad saying we should wait. 10 months is really long enough. It really, really is.
My wedding was such a circus. It was THE WORST day of my life - at least that I can remember.
At first Rachel saw so much more support than I ever did. She was accepted by my mother-in-law so much that she shared really private things from MY life with her. Before she was even officially married. This was maybe even the first time they met? Apparently, Stephen's grandma was going to SEW her a wedding dress! Stephen's mom was planning to throw them a real wedding afterward. Her message to her family was night and day compared to mine. She was OVERLY excited. Like...as if....trying to show us that she or Levi was better than me or Stephen somehow. I really don't know STILL what her problem was.
So...why me? None of them know me. Even so, they still knew me more than they knew her, and here she is getting far better treatment than I ever did. Is it because she's marrying Levi and he's better than Stephen? He went on a mission and they want to show Stephen that Levi is better? Did I do anything? If so, WHAT? All I want to know is WHAT. I. did.
It hurts. Especially now that I know how similar Rachel and I are. It can't be my personality...so what? What did I do? I don't know if I can ever forgive Stephen's mom at this point. I'd cut things off before, and THEN (only then) she started reaching out to me. She even admitted she didn't know anything about me other than the fact that I love purple. I'd been married to her son for fucking 2.5 years by then and I'd dated him for nearly a year before that! 3.5 years and she only knows that my favorite color is purple?! Are you kidding?!
Then Levi's wedding came around. At first I said I wasn't going. Somehow she'd heard about it right away and texted me saying I shouldn't punish him for her behavior. I was infuriated. They both just kept things from me. They both just mistreated and hated me. Why would I want to be part of that?
For some reason though, not that he'd shown me any glimpse of friendship before, I wanted to be friends with Levi. He told me ungraciously that, if I didn't go to his wedding, I didn't care about him. Which is wrong, but whatever. I told him I'd go then. I even made up with his mom. As temporary as that was. It stopped as soon as I found out she'd been talking about Stephen's EX with Rachel.
WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?! Seriously? I just want to know why that even came up. Or how. Why was she still talking about that homewrecker at all? Let alone...I just...I'm so angry. What kind of two faced nonsense is this? SERIOUSLY?
And it's not like I can tell anyone she's like this. She's nice to everyone else. She really is. I've seen it. She's much nicer to everyone else. I just don't get what Stephen did wrong. I certainly don't get what I did wrong. I mean, since the train wreck of a wedding happened, I've been mean. I have sworn at her over the phone. I'd get it now, but I never dreamed of doing that before we got married. I didn't even know we had a problem.
I'm just...so beyond frustrated with all of them. Especially now that I know how much better they treated Rachel. I guess things have fallen apart since then. At least a little. She has seen a fraction of the maltreatment I've received. I guess we have to stick together now. I'm just learning to be indifferent at this point. I've exhausted every other avenue.
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