Sometimes I just don't understand why we insist on hurting each other. Why we can't apologize, forgive, or be forgiven. Why it's so hard to just love one another.
I am grateful for every single day I have with Stephen. If I had it my way right now, I'd have no other care in the world other than spending all the time I have with him. We're soulmates. I can't emphasize this enough. I'm so happy with him! But I have other things going on. I'm scared, sad, frightened, hurt, and angry.
I can't understand how someone can live the life I've lived and still manage to get hurt. I don't trust many people. I cut out any drama and negative people as much as I can. I love when I can, as much as I can. I apologize when I need to and I open my heart and mind to possibility. And yet, I've been hurt. Sometimes it feels like I've been stabbed and left to bleed, but I won't die. I'm just bleeding on a street and watching everyone pass by. I'm in pain, but everyone has somewhere to be. They don't look twice.
So I get up. I file in line with everyone else and pretend everything is fine. Nobody likes a coward, after all. But I feel it with every step. Sometimes I can't help but sit back down, weakened, and watch the blood pour out - wondering why no one will help.
Yeah...and I definitely feel like fried rice right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment