It's too much.

I have a bone to pick, and I don't mean to rub anyone the wrong way (I know it will), but this has been brought up a couple of times this week and it's been on my mind. It's also kind of personal, so...here goes:

I always hear about "the world" pressuring women to have careers and work and all that. Maybe it does, I haven't noticed, because I'm a little biased (always wanted a career!). But you know what I have noticed? Pressure from the church to be a mom.

Please don't get me wrong: I love the gospel. I support 98% of church dealings. But I can't go to church anywhere without seeing or hearing something about families. Makes sense, as it is a family-centered gospel, but it seems like it's being rubbed in constantly that women's divine purpose is to bear children and be stay-at-home-moms.

I feel a LOT of pressure to be a stay-at-home-mom, but even more to bear children. It's essential to God's plan. It's so important. And I agree it's essential, but some of us have a hard time with the whole bearing children thing. I'm not even infertile and I am so hurt when all I ever hear about is why I'm a female.

Which I don't agree with. I'm a female because that's just me! There is divinity in womanhood alone. I know I'm a female because of reasons other than being a mother. But I can't help but get angry or, more likely, sad when I feel this giant weight on my back to have kids.

Pregnancy alone could kill me. If I could carry a child to full term, it would only be with expensive blood-thinning shots and close monitoring of my blood pressure - so I don't develop eclampsia and die. So how is it again that my purpose is to bear children? Does that makes sense to you, because it doesn't to me.

And that's just me having pregnancy difficulties. Some women just can't get pregnant period. Many women also have thrombophillia and can't carry to full term. Others also have chronic illnesses, dangerous genetic issues, anatomical abnormalities, or any other plethora of problems. It's just strange to me that we insist on pretending every woman has the ability to bear children - as if that's all we're good for.

Anyway, that's my beef. And not everyone thinks this way, but too many people do, and it's causing some of us a lot of undue stress and despair. I know with close monitoring and medication, I'll probably be fine, but some people don't have that.