Remember how I said we got a new bishop and that I liked him so far? Well, I would like to support this with evidence. He's a physician, so automatically we have a connection. He knows what's going on with my PKD. Today he validated my PKD by saying: "This isn't something like dermatitis where you have to put on lotion, you know? This is serious." And I just felt like he knew. He knows.
And he knows my nephrologist. This was embarrassing, because he inquired if I had one and I was like: "I don't like him, he didn't listen to anything I said." And he was like: "Who's your nephrologist?" And I was like: "Carrie....H_____?" And he's like: "Terry H_____? I know him." EEK! It was bad.
But he also seems to care a great deal about my anxiety. He actually took the time to look up a workbook for me. He said he thought it'd be good. No one has ever cared so much about it, yet it manages my life to a ridiculous extent. I am so touched that he would care about that. It's so odd, but maybe I can change. I don't want to be extroverted, but I'd like to not avoid situations out of fear.
And then the best part, he said he could help us with my medical bills. I can't explain how grateful I am. I didn't even know that was a thing, but he kept asking and asking if there was anything he could do. We just kept saying no, but I think he knew that we've been struggling. I'm so happy he got us to confide in him because I'd be so up a creek if it weren't for him (and the church).
It's only one worry gone, but it was a really big one. I feel a bit awful that we need help, and I hate admitting that, but I'm so grateful people are willing to help. I used to get mad that tithing was being used for political things and malls, but I always reminded myself how it's also used for service and things, so I was okay with it. But now? I don't think I can ever not pay my tithing. This has been such a help for us. It's kind of like the atonement. It's possible to be grateful and understanding of it but, until you need it yourself, you can't fully grasp how miraculous it is.
I'm so grateful for this help. I'm so grateful people pay their tithing. And I just want them all to know that it is being used for good things. I will try to always pay my tithing from now on. Thank you.
Therapy doesn't mean you have to be extroverted. I've been going to therapy for over 3 years and I wouldn't call myself extroverted. Working with your anxiety just means finding skills to help you feel less scared about doing things you want to do. It means being more comfortable in life instead of panicky. I didn't want to be different either, before I started. But I learned that it's not about changing, really. It's about learning skills to manage anxiety so that I can actually live life! I still have anxiety; it won't go away. But I can do some of the things I want to that I couldn't before. Hopefully that makes sense and was not offensive or annoying.
ReplyDelete