What a joke.

Well, all of this was for not. All the worrying, all the attempts to build a relationship. He's throwing it away becuase "if I can't get along with [his] wife, I can't get along with [him]". Which is silly and absolutely not true. My husband gets along with quite a few people who hate me - his family. Also, basically every other couple doesn't get along with another family member. It's not uncommon. He'll see.

It's weird. He said he loved me so many times, I believed him. This isn't love. In fact, very last-minute I decided I couldn't put up with everyone's bullying over this. I was so incredibly hurt and they do it on purpose. But I tried to tell him in a message I left in the gift I got him for this. And Stephen said he messaged him. But, I looked, and he said he didn't have time to read it.

That's how much he cares. He doesn't even want to know why I'm not coming. I've tried to tell him over and over that it was more complex than he knows and that I love him, but it just doesn't seem like he returns that sentiment.

What a chameleon. I really believed him. If he really cared so much, he wouldn't have tried to blackmail me and he definitely would've taken two seconds to read the damn message.

What a joke this has all been. But I'm hoping he'll find it in him to understand. I don't need forgiveness, but I would like him to understand, at least, and maybe we could move on. Though I don't know if it will ever be the same. I'm seeing just how conditional our relationship is.