In-laws. Again?

Oh. MY. GOSH.

I never wanted to be here. Growing up, I thought it was really stupid and catty when people would complain about their in-laws. Especially, for some reason, daughter-in-laws about their mother-in-laws. I was determined to never be one of these people.

And yet, it happened.

I totally get it now. I piss them off without even trying. And they don't say anything about it, so I'm left being passive-aggressive'd at until I get the hint and ask them directly. And even then I get some roundabout answer that doesn't even explain it.

For instance, my husband's twin is treated noticeably better than my husband. It's gotten way better as of late, but golly...for awhile there I was beginning to wonder if he was some sorcerer who put spells on people to like him.

Anyway, he got married recently and, in much the same fashion as us, gave everyone short notice. Hell, even shorter notice. Less than a week and many people hadn't even known he was in a relationship. So yeah, it was ridiculous. We actually told people when we got engaged (and got real rings) and we tried to give as much notice as possible - to everyone (even their dad, who was entirely left out of this one).

And what do we get? Well, his mom ditches out entirely on the whole thing -except she made it to the actual wedding, managed to send us an email telling us that we were being horrible, and to tell everyone that we were getting married in the most depressing, non-emotional way. She did later explain that she "just wasn't all that excited about it." so I guess that makes sense. I barely remember her speaking to me on our wedding day. His dad was calling us everyday beforehand to tell Stephen not to do it, his grandma threatened not to come at all because she was not personally invited, and his aunt freaks out at him on our wedding day.

The one apology we did get was from Steve's mom for not going to our bridal shower. Everyone else? Nothing. Not even an explanation. His mom did eventually mention that she felt left out. From what?! I f@#$$& don't know.

And this time around, everyone is ecstatic (or pretends to be in an attempt to rub it in) for again, no explicable reason. I ask my husband's mom and she says: "Maybe it's because he's involving everyone?"

First of all, NO he DIDN'T. Second of all, NOT ONE OF THEM offered to help us. EVER. NOT ONCE. How am I supposed to involve anyone who doesn't want to help?

So yeah, ever since then, it's been a f#$#fest of retardedness. They all expect me to just pretend it didn't happen when I don't even know why it happened.

I can't. I'm still mad and hurt and frustrated. I don't know what the hell I ever did to them. I hardly even spoke around them - for a perfectly logical reason that I couldn't help at the time.

I just can't understand that family. They pride themselves on dumb things like "having a high pain tolerance" (according to everyone, everyone has a high pain tolerance) and "not caring what other people think."  Yet they get offended at NOTHING and say NOTHING about it, so they must care what someone thinks.

I just can't take it anymore. I mean, my husband's mom and I are on speaking terms now, but I just have a really hard time wanting to have anything to do with nearly all of them. They can't even be honest with me about anything. I can't get a clear answer from them. I'm just frustrated to my whit's end. What was the original problem? The reason most of them decided to collectively ruin it for me? I don't know. I'll never know. I can never get my wedding back. It's so pathetic because I still cry about it (2 years later!!!) and I bet it never crosses any of their minds. I just can't.

I can't I can't I can't I can't. I can't do it anymore.